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Moms Talk: Are You Sometimes Skeptical Your Kid is 'Too Sick' For School?

What's your call when you're not sure whether to believe your child is really too sick for school? Are 'r & r' days ever justified?

 

There already are rumblings in this house about whether it's necessary to go to school both Thursday and Friday when the usual weeklong February vacation is cut short this week. It's assumed that some students at Ridge High School will be gone for ski vacations or other trips preplanned before those two days were put back on the school calendar to make up for time lost to Sandy.

Needless to say, my sympathy runs from zero to almost zero on this subject. I note that it wouldn't kill my student to get a little reinforcement in his classes even if teachers must re-cover some of the same information when the lucky vacationers return next week.

But I'm also listening with a jaundiced ear (if there is such a thing) to a slowly incubating sniffle he began displaying this morning.

Okay, maybe it is a delayed reaction to his one-day ski "vacation" to Hunter Mountain during last Sunday's frigid and brutally windy conditions in the northern Catskills.

But I'm not always convinced that those headaches and stomach-aches that aren't outwardly visible on dreary winter mornings are completely authentic.

Okay, so this doesn't happen very often, and sometimes the "illness" is accompanied by a sniffly nose or scratchy throat.

Worse yet, once or twice I've accused the kid of faking it, and come down with the same symptoms two days later. Has that ever happened to you?

Other times, I've sent him to school with instructions that he should call if he still feels sick later in the morning. Sometimes he gets through the day, but on occasion I get a call that he's in the nurse's office.

But let's be honest, sometimes a bit of fakery or overstatement comes into play.

How do I know? Let's just say, I received an actual confession.

Recently, my older son, now a 24-year-old in a clinical laboratory program at UMDNJ, admitted that some of the "proof" in his cases of stomach viruses was doctored.

With the statute of limitations long expired, he finally gave me his formula for the fake evidence — chewed food, warmed milk and a touch of chocolate milk powder or syrup. (Not too much chocolate, you don't want to have your parents having you checked for internal bleeding on your relaxing day off from school.)

I don't know whether his mentor at Ridge, the late Dr. Dan Friedman, would be proud of his scientific approach, or not.

I do know that it was definitely a gotcha moment. Have your older children ever made such a confession?

And do you always believe your student is sick (or as sick as they say they are) when it's first thing in the morning and they are reluctant to get out of bed?

Somerset Hills students had no days off for Presidents' Day

Since both Bernards schools and the Somerset Hills school district students had days off around Presidents' Day that were put back on the calendar, were kids more reluctant to go to school on days that had previously been "vacation" time?

Were more students absent than normal last Friday and this Monday days (scheduled as days off before Sandy) in Somerset Hills schools? How did those students feel about having no February break at all?

Did the very thought give them a headache? Or were they happy enough to be in school?

And do you think an "rest and relaxation" day once or twice a year won't kill your student?

How do you know when he/she really is sick, or too sick for school? Or is it sometimes a tough call? Has your kid ever obviously faked it?

Let us know in the comments section below, or take our poll!

  • Do you think your student sometimes "fakes" being sick to get out of going to school?

    (Voting has been closed for this question)
    • Never. My son/daughter loves school, and is really too sick if he/she wants to stay home.
        0 (0%)
    • Yes, I think there's sometimes a bit of fakery or exaggeration when he/she doesn't want to go to school.
        3 (75%)
    • Not very often, and if they're really just too tired, they should take a rare day off.
        1 (25%)
    Total votes: 4
  • Your vote will only count once. This is not a scientific poll. View Results Vote!
Related Topics: February Vacation, Hurricane Sandy, and moms talk

Bunny Faber

8:31 am on Thursday, February 21, 2013

I fixed this problem by staying home with "sickie". We go to the doctor and "sickie" stays in bed resting and then there is no going out for the next few days. End of.

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c

10:18 am on Thursday, February 21, 2013

I think that kids need to stay home when they are sick. Today they have to rush back to school for fear of missing so much work. I remember staying home for a week when one of us five kids had strep throat. Today your back after 48 hours on medicine as if you are actually better. I think it is so sad one day free from a temperature and your back. I always let my son stay home and he would tell me how I have to go back to school mom I will miss too much. That is pathetic. They also make the other children sick which just keeps it going. We never had all the illness that they have today. All the kids stayed home. I followed just what my darling mother did. She always believed we were sick and it was never questioned. We would even get to stay home if we looked too tired. I am so happy to have grown up when I did school was important but nothing like today. All five of us graduated from colleges all over the country and never took an honors or AP..........those were the days...

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Colleen Epple Pine

12:16 pm on Thursday, February 21, 2013

Dear “c”,

Yes, I remember those good days, too! My feeling is that if the child does not typically pull these types of stunts, either s/he truly doesn’t feel well; or, like us, may need a mental health day from time to time. Our children request sick days for much more than we could know and as long as my child is not taking advantage, I do tend to listen and give the child the time needed. I also tend to follow up with a little chat about honesty and doing our best to convey the truth to mom and dad if anything is going on that we should know about. But the full day and night (and perhaps the week) is all about rest and staying indoors-and not out of punishment, but out of a routine that becomes a practice. Fortunately, both children have learned to keep to commitments and only take those “sick” days when needed. We have actually graduated to the point where my younger daughter will say “I just think a need a day to catch up on rest—may I take the day?” We say yes to that, and find she bounces back even stronger.

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Linda Sadlouskos

2:10 pm on Thursday, February 21, 2013

I sometimes think that always being "connected" makes it really hard for today's kids to get the "down time" we used to be able to get just by sneaking off by ourselves once in a while...

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