With many people planning New Year's events after already celebrating Christmas or Hanukkah, the week holds many happy occasions that will leave a warm glow as we head into January.

But maybe not totally. Perhaps the holidays aren't what we expect them to be. Or, this holiday season may for some families include death, divorce or illness, which always seem to cut more sharply at this time of the year.

So what do you do, if you and yours are struggling with such issues this week? What do you tell your children? Do you keep a happy face, or do you try to discuss openly what may be making your family sad?

Do you take refuge with a larger group of loved ones? Or try to spend quiet time just with your family?

It's a certainty to say that many parents in this town stopped this Christmas to remember Kevin Herron and Thomas Ekberg, our two 20-year-old residents who were killed in a car crash on Nov. 28. As one observer said, this was the type of tragedy that could happen to any of us.

We brought the question of how to deal with grief at the holidays to Janice Pletscher, a local resident who with her husband Peter serves as a facilitator for Grief Share, held most Mondays (except for holidays or bad weather) from 7 to 9 p.m. at Liberty Corner Presbyterian Church.

The weekly program welcomes all, with many people coming from other towns, Pletscher told us. She said that the program's goal is to turn "mourning into joy" — or at least being able to experience some joy in life — a process that can take a long time. She said that people talk through their experiences with others at the sessions.

Her quick advice to those who are experiencing grief at the holidays is to do something a little different from their normal way of celebrating, to recognize that things have changed.

"Our doors are always open," Pletscher said.

Does anyone else have ways to cope with unhappy situations at the holidays? How do you make the best of the situation with your children? Please let us know in the comments section below.