The Neighborhood Coffees program established by Bernards Township and the township's Municipal Alliance will in the next week offer dozens of get-togethers where parents and teens can share information and insights about the teen social scene and issues surrounding drug and alcohol use.

Led by a facilitator, the gatherings take place in private homes and public venues. At least two teens, referred to as "student consultants," attend each session to speak about their experiences.

More than 40 Neighborhood Coffees were scheduled between March 21 and April 1 for 2011's agenda. The theme of the Neighborhood Coffees 2011 is centered on this year's focus established by the Municipal Alliance—"It's 21 for a Reason"—or dealing with the problem of underage drinking.

A general town  coffee is set for Monday at the YMCA at 7 p.m. Two others are scheduled for Wednesday and Thursday at Mt. Prospect School in The Hills at 7 p.m.

 “Neighborhood Coffees are a great way to meet neighbors, talk about important issues in teens lives and gain and share wisdom with other parents,” said Kathy Kelly, vice chairwoman of the Municipal Alliance, and the Bernards Township Health Department Community Assets coordinator.

Kelly said the program was started in 1991 by the Municipal Alliance, and the coffees are scheduled every few years.  In 2002, the program won an award for Innovation in Municipal Government from the Rutgers University/Eagleton Institute, which was presented at national conferences in Boston and Seattle, she said.

This year, Kelly said six coffee sessions were held on the first two days of the schedule, and each attracted between 5 to 14 people.

“The discussions have been great and both the parents and students who’ve attended have given very positive feedback. Our student consultants provide an insightful look into the lives of teens in Basking Ridge and I think that the parents who’ve attended have been very appreciative of their point of view,” Kelly said. 

Kelly said the discussions have focused on the issue of teenage drinking parties and how parents can avoid being a social host. 

“Parents have shared their beliefs about taking away the keys, providing teens with a safe place to drink, and if it’s appropriate to teach kids how to drink responsibly before college,” Kelly said. 

She said the groups also have been discussing the legal consequences of providing alcohol to minors. 

“The law states that you are not allowed to provide alcohol to a child who is not your own. Those who do can be subject to jail, fines, and other penalties. The discussions have been very lively as not all parents share the same view on these issues. But everyone has been very respectful of differing opinions,” Kelly said.

“I find the program to be a wonderful multi-generational resource,” said Mary Ellen Peters, who serves as a facilitator and host. She also is the secretary to the assistant principal of Ridge High School and a mother of three older children, ages 17, 18 and 20.

Peters said what she values most about the program is the opportunity provided for parents and teens to learn from one another.

“The teens are very honest and they give very good insight into the reality of the teen social scene. And teens are able to get new insights from hearing parents talk about their perspectives and concerns,” Peters said.

She said at one coffee, a few of the teens were talking about the stresses of getting good grades and getting into college and a father shared his experience of losing his job and the stress he is feeling about taking care of his family.

“Even though the main idea is for the kids to share what is going on in their lives, it is also an opportunity for the parents to talk about their experiences as well. And so it works both ways,” Peters said.

Those interested in attending upcoming sessions should contact Kelly at 908-204-3068 to find a coffee in their area, or visit the Bernards Municipal Alliance website.