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Happy Belated Father's Day

Anyone can be a biological father but it takes active involvement and support to be a dad.

This weekend was so busy and beautiful that I didn't get around to writing my blog in time for Father's Day, so today I am writing to wish all of the dads out there a happy belated Father's Day and to share my thoughts on the subject.

Speaking of busy weekends, I spent a beautiful weekend with my three young children and husband. We enjoyed the gorgeous weather with a swim, a picnic by the pool, a visit to the local fair, and a Father's Day barbeque. I really enjoy fun weekends such as these but was surprised by how very aware I was of fathers this weekend, especially my own dad and husband. 

From carrying the four bags full of towels and toys to the pool, to giving the kids rides on his back in the pool, to wrapping up my littlest in a blanket and giving her a bottle, I had flashbacks of when my dad used to do those things in my youth. From getting on the tea cup ride with my youngest for her first carnival ride to shooting baskets to win my daughter a teddybear, I thought of my dad. From packing the car at the end of a long night, to carrying home the three fishes the children won, and subsequently spending three hours to set up the fish tank where they now live, I thought of my dad. As my own husband did all of these things with my children, I thought of my dad. It made me realize something that the deeds dads do for the children range from financially supporting them, to running along side of them as they ride their bike for the first time without training wheels, to sleeping next to them in the bed when they have the 101 degree fever, to picking them up at midnight when they are upset at a friend's house. The involvement of a father in a child's life is the defining factor that makes him a dad. I also realized how lucky I was to have grown up with a dad such as these and to raise a family with a man such as this.

Not all of us have dads in our lives who meet this criteria. For many reasons there are many fathers out there who have biologically contributed to life but have chosen or cannot be involved with their children. There children must look to others or have others in their lives who hopefully fit the bill of support and involvement. Whether it be the grandparent who starts over and raises the children or the mother who pulls double duty. In today's society, for many reasons there are people who function and emotionally contribute to a child's life as a dad and sometimes even a mom. So to all the people out there who give to a child and help make their lives better I salute you! To all the men who are active, supportive, and involved, in your children's life, I commend you. To my own husband Jeremy and father Irfan, I love you and can't thank you enough for being wonderful positive role models not just in my life but in the lives of our children.

Again, happy Father's Day to all! I hope you were able to enjoy your day, with your kids, no matter how old they may be!

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

maria claps June 19, 2012 at 05:14 PM
Alicia..nice post on fathers. It takes a lot of emotional involvement t be a REAL man and a REAL dad. You sound as though you are blessed to have been raised by one of those men and now to be partnering with one of them to raise your own children. Thanks for such a positive post on this subject. I feel that so many times, our media and its usual liberal elitism wants to downplay the beauty of men and fatherhood. Yours was a refreshing read.
Alicia R. Camlibel, Ph.D., LPC June 19, 2012 at 06:05 PM
Maria Claps, thanks so much for commenting and for your kind words.
melissa castner June 19, 2012 at 08:04 PM
Nice post, Alicia! It is nice to emphasize the importance of quality time that sometimes gets confused with quantity. Always nice to read what you have to say... :)
Alicia R. Camlibel, Ph.D., LPC June 19, 2012 at 09:16 PM
Thank you Melissa...I was hoping to emphasize the importance of involvement with children which sometimes occurs in terms of sleeping on the floor of the child's room when they have a high fever in addition to activities that do take up lots of time like coaching a team, both activities are important in their own way and should be valued.
Linda Sadlouskos (Editor) June 19, 2012 at 09:48 PM
You are so right in saying that children also look up to grandfathers on Father's Day.
Alicia R. Camlibel, Ph.D., LPC June 20, 2012 at 01:12 AM
Thanks Linda and Uncles, cousins, big brothers, mothers, aunts, neighbors, friends,...the list goes on and on...anyone who positively contributes to a child's life and/or takes on a paternal role should be celebrated

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