From One Mother To Another – Can You Accept What is Out of Your Control?

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One of my “better” qualities is that I am an anal-retentive person that has to be in control and I don’t have a problem with that. I believe mothers have to be in control so your children (and household) don’t get out of control.

In order to “keep order” I feel I must reign over every situation and behavior that I can, like eating, sleeping, friends, language, wardrobe, etc.–the important aspects of your children’s lives.  But recently, after nine years of being a mom, I have come to the realization that there might be a few behaviors and situations that I have no control over.

• Children pick their noses. You can tell them over and over again to use a tissue but their fingers seem to work so much better.

• Objects other than food and toothbrushes find their way in your child’s mouth. Toys, rocks, crayons, Play-Doh and fingers, especially once a booger is on it–many, many things you’d expect and some that you wouldn’t. It’s a waste of time to get aggravated, angry or try and stop it. Unless, your child is in danger, pick and choose your battles. A little “dirt” is actually good for them.

• Your baby will inevitably poop right after you’ve just changed them. I learned with my second not to change her right after she awoke. I began waiting until after she ate breakfast. It saved me from having to change her twice in a matter of 20 minutes.

• Little boys touch themselves. That’s it. Enough said.

• Your children are going to learn the words “HATE, STUPID and SHUT UP” and other word they aren’t supposed to say. Their friends will use them as well as age appropriate television shows and movies. All you can do, if they do use them, is explain that they are inappropriate and reprimand them if it continues.

• Children will ask the same questions repeatedly to the point of annoyance. I’m not quite sure if they forget, want to hear themselves talk, think you can’t hear them, assume the answer will change or all of the above. It’s like nails on a chalkboard. Learn to tune it out.

• You will definitely be spit up on, thrown up on, coughed and sneezed on (with and without food) peed on and pooped on. Your child will get up early on the mornings you can sleep in and will sleep late when you get up early. They will also take a four hour nap the day after you’ve rushed around cleaning the entire house during their hour and a half nap. It’s just the way it goes.

• Children are going to pick up germs. I wouldn’t keep your child in a bubble or purposely expose them to certain people or places but don’t make yourself crazy trying to figure out where they came from. By the time you figure it out, they will be healthy again.

• At least once during the time your child is in diapers, you will find poop under your fingernail and have no idea how long it has been there, and it is almost inevitable that your child will poop while you are giving him a bath.

• It is much more convenient for children to wipe their hands and noses with sleeves instead of the napkin or tissue that is within arm’s length.

• Be prepared to find items squirreled away in the oddest places.

• Kids are weird. There will never be an explanation for everything they do no matter how hard you try to find one!