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Moms Talk: Where Would You Be Without Your Women Friends?

Friends — be they other moms or women you have befriended in another lifetime — are a mother's most reliable resource in so many situations.

Even if you didn't grow up with a sister, becoming a mom makes you part of a sisterhood. Sure, your women friends (sometimes other moms, but not always) may be there for good company, brightening your day or making an excursion with the kids more enjoyable — but having children also makes you appreciate them as someone to count on.

Who else will show up in the hospital as one of your first visitors when you've just had a baby, bringing a cute outfit and a willing ear to share your war story?

Or when your spouse is away on a business trip, and you're in the house with a sick child, who makes you sleep better simply by knowing that you can call them anytime in an emergency?

Who do you call first when you suspect your footloose toddler ran out of the house while you were in the bathroom, and is lost in a neighborhood filled with swimming pools and busy streets?

And that same person doesn't make you feel like an idiot when you find the kid hiding under his brother's bed, afraid to come out because he's been under there methodically breaking his brother's crayons. (Something he's been sternly warned before that he shouldn't do.)

In the case of a real problem, you'll find that the women who you've thought of primarily as mom-friends or good-time pals are really smart, and will use that intelligence on your behalf. You'll listen to the advice of people who have had other lives as business people, attorneys, nurses, artists, decorators...the list goes on.

And best of all, they hand out that advice with compassion and empathy, and don't treat you like you're crazy or foolish.

Hopefully, you like to feel you are paying back when you listen to and "counsel" (yes, and for no hourly fee!) a good friend who can tell your her out-there thoughts. And then tactfully forget that certain things were ever said, as they do with you.

And whose children did you love to babysit?

Some friends go way and above the call of duty, and you never forget. My older son was a preemie, rushed to a neonatal intensive care unit in Manhattan. My longtime friend from Roxbury drove up to where I was living in Orange County, N.Y., down to Cornell Medical Center, and then back to western Morris County. But first she spent hours sitting with me while I tried to get a sleepy five-pounder to drink sufficient liquid. That must have been as exciting as watching paint dry!

What special moments have you shared with your women friends? What has made you really thankful to have them in your life?

One of our bloggers, Jodi Ciampa, wrote last week about the different types of friends that we have in our lives.

What are some of the types of friends you've relied on — and have shared laughs and tears with?

This is one of our weeks to celebrate so many of you.

Please join the conversation and let us know what you're thinking in the comments section.

Abbey Arwady March 28, 2012 at 04:41 PM
My girlfriends have gotten me through the hardest times of my life and it's a blessing to know they will be friends forever. Viva la friendship!
Colleen Epple Pine March 28, 2012 at 04:51 PM
For me, it’s as if I’ve won on the game show, “Wheel of Fortune” every day of my life! Each prize on the wheel represents a different lady in my life—rather than a dollar value. As I go through any given day, week, month or year, I spin that wheel and invariably land on a friend who belongs by my side for that given moment in my life. They know who they are—no need to mention names. They are neighbors, life-long friends since our moms birthed us, school buddies, Girl Scout moms, family, extended family, and I even included the treasured young ladies in my Girl Scout Troop who are now young women themselves. These women wind me up like the Energizer Bunny and keep me going. “There by the Grace of God, my husband, my family and my friends, go I.” I am blessed to have all of you in my life—to celebrate with, grieve with, party with, confess with, shout with, cry with and hold the deepest inner-most sensitive conversations with. Every day I celebrate you ladies and thank our Good Lord for you in my life. And as this friendship wheel of fortune continues to grow and grow with each passing year, I feel richer and more indebted to all of you for your gift of genuine friendship. And as I tell my daughters, “I love you more” and thank you for being you!
Linda Sadlouskos (Editor) March 28, 2012 at 05:32 PM
Thanks, Colleen -- and you remind us that mothers, sisters, daughters, cousins, etc. can also do double-duty as friends!
Jodi Ciampa March 28, 2012 at 05:50 PM
I couldn't agree with you more Linda! Our "Friends" complete us. They give us Validation, Strength and Confidence to know we are doing a great job. And as I've said before and will say again - Relying on each other doesn't make us weak; it only makes us better!
maria claps March 28, 2012 at 10:46 PM
A girls gotta have friends! Thanks for writing such a great article :-)
Linda Sadlouskos (Editor) March 28, 2012 at 10:58 PM
Agreed, Maria! Hanging with the boys is just not the same, even for those of us who live in all-boy households!
I recently read this on a coffee cup in one of the local shops: "You are my true friend if you know everything about me, and still want to hang out with me". I think this quote pretty much says it all, true friends don't judge us, they listen and accept who we are. I came to this country alone 20 years ago, and went through many diffrent friendhsips, I also matured and got wiser over time. Now, I have friends who love me for who I am, and we always find time to see each other, text, or call.
Ridge Ski Team March 30, 2012 at 11:38 AM
Girlfriends are a necessity and a blessing in life.
Lisa S. March 30, 2012 at 12:33 PM
My comment: If a disconnect with the relationship with my women friends were to occur, the consequence of "being alone" would be a certainty. The support from them helps fill the gaps, heal the wounds and provides comfort that can only be classified as "priceless". The relationship with men is not as enduring in that they come and go while my women friends are always there for me.
Arlene Gutierrez April 02, 2012 at 12:21 PM
>>> From Arlene: >>> >>> >>> >>>Imagine floating in space by yourself, with no spaceship. All you have to protect yourself from the element of your oncoming death is your spacesuit that is slowly losing it's ability to battle the cold and compressurized atmosphere. You have no one to talk to and share your deep fears with, no destiny, no one to say " don't worry, I'll get you back home, everything will be okay". All you have is endless amounts of darkness engulfing you and little by little your will to survive starts closing in on you. That is only a small sample of what the world would be like without women friends. A world with women friends would be the space ship coming with it's rope to lasso you back into safety. >>> >>>

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