Flatulence and Firearms Don’t Mix

Each week, Patch combs through the more shocking, surprising and often absurd alleged criminal acts and police-related incidents that unfold throughout New Jersey. Here’s what went on this week for “OMGs from NJ PD.”

Flatulent Feud: Look, no one likes the gassy toots of others, but seems a bit extreme. That’s what a 72-year-old Teaneck resident did, however, when a neighbor let one rip in an apartment building’s common area, police say. His pooting patrol landed the man in police custody with an array of gun charges. No word on whether anyone opened a window.

Get This Kitty a Car Seat: Janelle Lewis’ unnamed cat could take a lesson from SNL’s Toonces the Driving Cat. Toms River Police say the Jackson woman’s , causing Lewis to lose control of her car and hit a utility pole, taking out power in the area for several hours. Fortunately, feline and owner were uninjured.

Patch Tip—Know Your Rap Sheet: Call us naïve, but don’t most people know if they’re wanted by police? . The man apparently thought he had a warrant out for his arrest, so when police stopped him, the man made like a “Family Circus” character and ran through backyards. Eluding, alas, rarely works and now McMartin has that rap sheet.

Shoplift ’Til the Security Guard Drops: A Bridgeton woman admitted last week to coming prepared for everything needed for a big shoplifting trip to the mall—. The woman could trade in the more than $600 in Abercrombie and Fitch clothes she tried to steal for a prison uniform for a year.

Colorful Crook: We’re fairly sure this Police didn’t make it easy enough for the delightfully surnamed Daquan Dollar, of Brooklyn, N.Y., to allegedly make off with seven color print cartridges from the office supply store. And, as OMG faves often do, Dollar reportedly took off, only adding to the charges when Madison Police eventually enveloped and penned him.

Fawning Over a Fawn: We’re suckers for ending on an “awww” note, so this week we bring you the charming tale of to rescue a baby deer stuck in a window well. With the mama deer nearby, Jen Bauman wisely decided “I'm not going to get between a mother and her baby,” so firefighters Sean Norek and Kevin Williams made the rescue. At last sighting, mom and baby were scampering off into the woods together.